Sometimes you think you are doing the right thing. Sometimes it seems so right. Then, you do whatever it is and it really isn’t. Yesterday I had a job interview (finally) for a job (that I’m not even really qualified for) and got only an interview through Mr P’s networking. Last minute meeting. Got talking to the interviewer and talking about teaching and registration etc. She was very unsure about the whole process but was thinking of getting on board with qualified teachers. I was thinking on it last night and Mum and I had a discussion about it. I had a brainwave and just on an informative level thought I would call her to discuss. Being proactive and all that. The tone in her voice was horrible. I sit here in tears after a 1 minute and 11 second phone call with someone who may have employed me. I feel like those hopes are gone. I feel like a piece of shit on someones shoe after a minute long phone call. I put myself out there and again I feel shot down.
I always make decisions that seem to be the wrong ones. I always come out worse off. What seems so right always ends up being so wrong.