Sobbing on my mothers shoulder as a teen, I blubbed about being scared that everyone would have to go to war. Now, in my late twenties, I am as equally and wholly terrified of war. I am terrified of all the innocent lives being unreasonably lost. I am terrified that people I know and love will have to go to war. I am terrified that those same people will see things that they cannot ever un-see or worse. Die. I am scared of the long lasting and immediate devastation that war causes.
These days, I can’t even remember what war that was that I was worried about in my teens. I think it was in Iraq or similar. Regardless, a civil war. But a war all the same. I think now in my understanding I get that no one I loved was going to have to go, but that all of my other fears would still happen and can be justified. With these Malaysian flights going down and the warfare over the Palastine / Israel ‘land’ and the increased talk of world war, I am back to being terrified again.
I’m not talking just a fear in my head. This fear is expressed in shaking, sleepless nights, grumpiness, stress and attachment to everybody I love.
I just hope that Russia has a very good justification up its sleeve and that Israel can keep lives being lost to a minimum and that everybody else can try and come up with peaceful resolution. Wishful thinking but I really need some sleep.