Un-happy birthday to me

Today is my birthday. Not that anybody would know it. At work, not one person wished me a happy birthday. At home, only a long time friend who moved in with us short-term yesterday, wished me a happy birthday before lunch. On facebook, only people that I rarely see anymore wished me a happy birthday before lunch too! After work, I helped my friend get around the city so she could organise a transfer for her job and then we came home where I cleaned and then got asked what I was making for dinner by Justin. All day my mind was swinging between, ‘just another boring day at work… man I hate my job (but am thankful to have at least something)’ and ‘after a year in this city, I haven’t made any new friends….my life sucks’.

For the first time ever, I really really wished my birthday was over.

All my life, I’ve loved birthdays. I’ve loved getting gifts, I’m not gonna lie. I love it being all about me, even for a small part of the day. I usually count down at least a month before hand and by the time the day actually arrives, I am all hyped up and loving another year having passed. For all of these reasons, I love other people’s birthdays, and the fact that they get a day for them too. And, I always make an effort for my friends and family. I try and make their birthday a special day for them.

This year, for me, it couldn’t have been worse as far as birthdays go. Although, I did get a wheelbarrow (late in the evening from Justin. After he begrudgingly cooked a BBQ dinner). Strange, I know. But, I did want one as it would make doing garden stuff so much easier!

As I write this, I realise not even my sister wished me a happy birthday. Neither did one of my very best friends.

It’s all got me thinking. Why do we give children birthday parties and build up this high expectation of presents and a day all about you and parties and friends and family. In reality, it appears it becomes very different. The older we get, the less fun and exciting and wonderful. I’m not worried about getting older, although I know some people are so I can understand why they would want to forget birthdays all together. Next year, I think special occasions and celebrations will be cancelled so everyone around me can see how boring life would be!

A little bit doom and gloom but I’m feeling very contemplative.

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